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Big Marketing Man
Eric Blumstein* is staring at me over the top of his Diet Coke (no fruit) and telling me in no uncertain terms how important he is. With me is Rod, the World's Most Amiable Sales Director, and I'm not exactly sure he's getting just how big a prick Blumstein is being.

Having just put in his first year, Blumstein's about the fourth man down the marketing totem pole at Big Electronics Company. His boss' timely promotion has left him holding the keys to a fairly sizable marketing budget, a portion of which is responsible for 5 percent of our total annual gross revenue. Bottom line? Without Blumstein's complete enthusiasm for the majority of our elaborate, big-money sponsorships and programs, we're in serious trouble. Therefore, we must acknowledge Blumstein's marketing wisdom and let him dot all the "i's" and cross all the "t's" he wants to. So far, Blumstein seems determined to do a whole lot of crossin' and dottin' before the fall media-buying season.

Sporting a wannabe-hipster goatee and carefully arranged hair meant to simulate bedhead, Blumstein takes a measured sip of his diet soda and brushes an errant piece of tuna tartar from his chin. I am deep into my second scotch-and-soda of this casual meeting and trying to let Rod, Blumstein's direct sales rep, absorb most of his blather. At one point, Blumstein actually says "Everything goes through me." Wow. This bastard is cocky as hell. However, it could be a reaction to our selling a sizable sponsorship behind his back to his ad agency.

As Blumstein goes on, it is hard not to think about the fact that my assistant probably outearns him, and I chastise myself for such a base notion. Later on, I think of this when I start the 90-slide PowerPoint presentation that will be the price of admission into Blumstein's marketing party. God, this is no way to live.

**

Small Ball
Do you sell ads? Then you know this hoary old chestnut as well as the next space representative: "There is no bigger pain in the ass than the small advertiser." Yes, it's true. You'll sell a $500,000 program (large, even by No. 1 Industry Mag standards) in a week to Grey Advertising or OMD, and never hear from them again until the next quarter. But, dare to sell an 1/8-page B&W vertical to Small Company, and they will call incessantly at all hours of the night. You can count on this more than the fact that I am going to start my day with a Camel Filter and a cup of coffee (black and sweet, just like World's Most Amiable Sales Director Rod).

The small company can't really afford the ad in the first place (which is why they pay up front); is actually genuinely counting on the ad to bring them business (now they call it "ROI"); and is counting on glorious No. 1 Industry Mag to partner with them to raise their fortunes in the business. By the time the negotiations are over and you factor in all the long-distance phone calls, time spent, and the occasional T&E, you have generally lost money on the ad. The kicker? If Small Company doesn't sell a dozen widgets or whatever (which they track mercilessly using "ad codes" and the like), then you will never hear from them again—they'll be in No. 3 Industry Mag, where the 1/8-pages are selling briskly at $250 each, rather than the $1,850 a pop you command.

How about not selling them at all? I'm trying this now, based on this book about "firing your customers." Perversely, once you tell clients that you don't need their business, they stop negotiating and buy something. The old reverse psychology never fails, does it? Now, if I can only figure out how to make the bastards stop calling Rod.

**

Rod, the World's Most Amiable Sales Director
I am sitting with Rod, the World's Most Amiable Sales Director, at an Italian restaurant in the West 20s. We are having our monthly lunch with Tad Tramanto, one of our smaller, but more regular advertisers. Rod is wearing his uniform: a crisply pressed Brooks Brothers striped button-down under a handsome blue blazer, a pair of dressy blue jeans, and some expensive English bench made lace-ups. Maintaining "office casual" attire is something Rod does extremely well, unlike many of our colleagues at Big Publishing Company.

Rod is top boy at No. 1 Industry Mag, and has been bringing in close to $2 million annually for the past several years—a Herculean sales effort for a niche book like ours—and one that brings Rod a respectable, but not extravagant, salary that edges just above the six-figure mark. Along with his salary, Rod receives a healthy benefits package, a decent T&E account, a laptop computer, 20-odd vacation and personal days, and the promise that Big Publishing Company'll clink the retirement jar to the tune of a 5 percent matching contribution. It's not a king's ransom by any stretch of the imagination, but it has afforded Rod a decent lifestyle and, not to be discounted, a sense of stability and predictability not easy to find in New York's volatile job market.

Hailing from South America by way of London, Rod is an extremely handsome black man of refinement and culture, well-spoken, and possessed of real charm. He is, in a word, amiable—the perfect salesman.

Rod's sales history and account list reveals his ability to attract—and, more importantly, keep—advertising clients. Rod rarely gets a new one, but when he does, they usually stick around for a while. Rod's client base is like a thriving garden, one which he tends and nurtures on a daily basis. Because of his well-tended client base, Rod's one of a select breed of salespeople who can pull in favors when they're needed, and I have personally seen him close $20,000 worth of business within 20 minutes to get himself out of a tight spot.

When you are competing against 10 other magazines, a big part of whether you get the business comes down to relationships. Rod's specialty is creating and nurturing those relationships to the point where he's not just a salesperson, but a trusted confidant, adviser, and—more often than not—friend. This is something that cannot be trained into a salesperson: either you've got it or you don't. Every magazine needs a Rod—preferably two or three of them.

**

*Names have been changed to protect the...you be the judge.

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