We just got word from our person on the inside that the new Microsoft commercial featuring Jerry Seinfeld and Bill Gates was most likely directed by Bryan Buckly. The same commercial director that did the American Express Ellen Degeneres spots. The one with the animals that won an Emmy and the other one with Beyonce and the Village People. He's also responsible for the Martin Scorsese and Tina Fey Amex commercial and a Larry David spot that was shelved and never released.

For people with TiVo, we sure watch a lot of commercials...

This one features Bill Gates and Jerry Seinfeld. As we reported earlier - there is a bunch of celebs that will be in these spots. Some names being thrown around were Sarah Silverman, Willie Nelson, motorcycle rider Travis Pastrana, Matthew McConaughey, Ralph Nadar, Rob Corddry and Stephen Colbert.

And of course they plan to feature real people. People who use computers. People that managed to let go of their bitterness about Vista to do a national spot. There must be some of those out there.

Anyway, so far not Alex Bogusky's best work. But maybe it's a set up for something cool.

John Quinlan penned a piece about the first Olive Garden to open in Sioux City, Iowa...in 2006.

The piece was a romantic romp through the magic which is the Olive Garden:

"So if you come here, you go to Omaha or you go anywhere else that has an Olive Garden, you should be able to sit down and have the same bowl of soup and have it taste the same," Jason Hagarty [Olive Garden GM] said.

In 2008 it was picked up by Gawker and it when viral.

CJR's Kate Dailey interviewed the reporter to find out what it's like to be accused of writing an Onion-esque piece.

We called Quinlan for his reaction to the fracas, and while he was happy to chat, he was a bit disappointed. "I always thought the Columbia Journalism Review would call me after I won a Pulitzer," he said.

It's all fun until someone gets hurt...yeesh.

We have a love/hate relationship with our tip jar. Sure it's awesome when we get good stuff. Gee, it blows when all we get is spam and creepy stuff.

Case in point:

delete the blog against lucid. I just saw that the comments against it keep getting deleted so if the truth can't even get out, you better delete the lie. The person who posted it is pathetic and shouldn't even be able to post things anymore if they're going to be that pathetic and deceitful.

They are referring to this post. A post where several different sources came to us with the same story. We called the editors of the magazine in question, left our non-anonymous phone number and have yet to hear back from them.

Now mind you, when these are sent - they are sent 10 times each. So someone isn't exactly familiar with basic blogging technology:

Fix your site comments are being deleted and are unable to be read from some links. That's so sloppy.

And even more, sent a bunch of times - each promising it was 'the last time'.

For the last time, whoever is posting the blog about Lucid is completely out of line and should be removed from the site.

Don't know who sent this. It's anonymous. We're scratching our heads. However our email is fishbowlla at mediabistro dot com.

OK, not really. Not even a little bit, but she does have a very sharp-minded observation in the lede of her story today:

MINNEAPOLIS -- It would have taken quite a star to outshine Sarah Palin at the Republican National Convention. Even John McCain may soon find out why actors hate working with children, cute animals and, now, female Alaskan governors.

Wonder how some women in the entertainment/media industry in L.A. seem to be constantly "in the know?" It's thanks to Karen Allen. The venerable entertainment industry vet who started a little listserv called Ladies Who Brunch five years ago will see the fruits of her labor evolve into a full-fledged networking Web site -- not unlike Facebook... but also totally unlike Facebook.

The press release that follows explains more:

continued...

Quoting a press release, DHD reports: "Slacker Uprising tracks Moore's 62-city visits to the swing states during the 2004 Presidential election. Moore's goal four years ago when Slacker Uprising was filmed was to convince millions of non-voting "slackers" -- mostly between the ages of 18-29 -- to give voting a try. To encourage the slackers to show up, they were offered a clean change of underwear, free Ramen noodles, and a promise that no event would start before noon and no politician would be allowed to speak. These enticements filled basketball arenas and football stadiums every night on the "Slacker Uprising Tour." The 97-minute film will be available for a high-resolution, free download to any North American resident beginning on September 23 at the pic's website, www.slackeruprising.com."

We still can't believe this happened. But Jim Rainey says it happened, so we guess it really did.

Yeah, we thought it was one of the phish emails too. It's not. This comes to us via The D-Word.

American documentary filmmaker detained in Port Harcourt, Nigeria

NEW YORK, September 2, 2008 - Andrew Berends, an established, award-winning American filmmaker and journalist from New York, was detained Sunday August 31st by the Nigerian military along with his translator, Samuel George, and Joe Bussio, the manager of a local bar. Andrew entered Nigeria legally in April 2008 to complete a documentary film.

Andrew was held in custody without food, sleep, or representation, and with limited water for 36 hours. He was questioned by the army, the police, and the State Security Services in Port Harcourt. He was then temporarily released, with an order to the SSS office at 9AM Tuesday morning. The State Security Services has confiscated his passport and personal property. Andrew's translator, Samuel George, remained in custody over night.

The US State Department is aware of the situation, and an attorney has been retained on Andrew's behalf. We, Andrew's friends, family, and colleagues, are deeply concerned that he has been held without cause and are calling for his safe treatment and immediate release.

Anyone wishing to assist further should go here or call their representatives.

Yes, Yes and Yes: We love Robin Abcarian so much that we'd put out without her having to wine and dine us. Yet time and again, she generously gives us gems. This morning's story about John McCain is pack full of them: "Look," said Salter, sounding exasperated, "Bush hugged him. What should McCain have done -- taken out a gun and shot him?"

Media = Bad For Democracy: Either that, or James Rainey is cranky: "In a more perfect nation, we wouldn't rely on mags that live for Brangelina and 'They're just like us' features to set the course for democracy."

Um, Jim. Do You Read Your Own Paper? Seriously? Do you?

As we mentioned yesterday, McCain Camp's Steve Schmidt told the WaPo that the feeding frenzy on Veep Nominee Sarah Palin was the worst he's ever seen. Not that we can blame someone for having the memory of a gold fish. It often helps the voices.

Anyway, we came up with a poll of other feeding frenzies. There were many: The OJ Trial, Monica Lewinsky, Jonbenet Ramsey, Lacy Peterson, Chandra Levy, Natalie Holloway, Martha Stewart going to jail and Elian Gonzalez.

Then some of our readers suggested more. Princess Diana's Death and Anna Nicole Smith.

And then we thought of more: Terri Schiavo and Janet Jackson's nipple.

Did we miss one? Leave your answer in the comments...or tip box.

Both LAT and NYT ran stories about Republican Veep Nominee Sarah Palin's 'rapport' with the press.

NYT's wonders why John McCain is turning on his base.

LAT's James Rainey thinks that the tabloids digging up alleged dirt 'hurts the public'. We argue that not getting the John Edwards affair hurt newspapers.

Politico's Roger Simon lists the reasons why the liberal media should apologize for Sarah Palin coverage:

Fifth, we should stop reporting on the families of the candidates. Unless the candidates want us to.

Sarah Palin wanted the media to report on her teenage son, Track, who enlisted in the Army on Sept. 11, 2007, and soon will deploy to Iraq.

Sarah Palin did not want the media to report on her teenage daughter, Bristol, who is pregnant and unmarried.

Sarah Palin thinks that one is good for her campaign and one is not, and that the media should report only on what is good for her campaign. That is our job, and that is our duty. If that is not actually in the Constitution, it should be. (And someday may be.)

The official theme of the convention's third day was "prosperity," but the unofficial theme was "the media are really, really awful."

In their new book, Impotence in the Boardroom: MySpace Caught an STD, marketing experts Yvette Bowlin and Sonni Carr explore what they call "strategically transmitted diseases" (Or STDs, natch) to explain why some brands just, you know, suck. From the press release:

Bowlin and Carr take readers inside the doors of MySpace and recount the events of a 2006 meeting between the authors and MySpace executives. The two create a case study to show how MySpace has become a one-hit wonder reaching 'has-been' status as quickly as stardom--all because it chose to ignore the fate of feature fatigue. Even this behemoth of a company that became the topic of every lunch conversation and found its way into almost every advertising budget, isn't indestructible. Subject to the fickle audience to which it catered, MySpace.com needed a salvaging opportunity--fast! The authors tell the company's promising beginnings to its pending doom and how MySpace executives rejected an exciting, intriguing opportunity that would have repositioned them as the leader in social impacting, and instead, settled for 'safe and sorry.' Bowlin and Carr, the Opportunity Analysts, also show how companies such as Dow, Citigroup, Cisco, Keen Footwear, MSN and Coca-Cola aren't making the same mistake and how they stay relevant, attractive and desirable in today's hormonally-charged marketplace.

Impotence? STDs? Hormonally-charged? We're no marketing experts, but isn't it bad practice to associate your message with lumps, bumps, pus and zits?

Jonathan Handel does "the math" -- which is good, because math is hard -- and determines that Hollywood won't see a contract until 2009.

A sample:

1. If Membership First wins the election overwhelmingly, and if SAG members overwhelmingly vote in the SAG survey (a push-poll, designed to influence people's votes) to have the Guild continue pushing hard for a better deal (i.e., 85% or more affirmative, and a good turnout), then MF will be emboldened to call for a strike authorization vote. If that vote achieves the requisite 75% approval level (a high level, which is why it might take as much as 85% affirmative on the poll, particularly given SAG's embarrassing failure to defeat the AFTRA deal), then SAG will have gained significant leverage against the studios. All of these conditions have to apply.

QED

In the wake of his online video interviews with reps from Membership First and United for Strength, Jonathan tells us he'll be interviewing independent candidates this week:

continued...

Opps. Conservative pundits Mike Murphy and Peggy Noonan had their mikes on while they said what they actually think about VP nominee Sarah Palin. This clip takes place right after the two talked about strategy. Murphy remarked that Palin is "fresh, anti-politician."

Then when they thought they were off the air:

"It's over." "Is that the most qualified woman they could have turned to?" "They went for the political bullshit about narratives."

We're cringing.